Groundwaters

A Goodbye Letter from Judy (Part 2)

The Heart of the Matter
from Judy Hays-Eberts

Part 2

What does it feel like, to give this creative endeavor over to others, to step away while it all goes on without me? Freeing, flattering, and relieved, as well as successful and highly blessed. There’s a tiny twinge of regret that I cannot go on with it, but then there’s reality. The reality is that Groundwaters wouldn’t be happening anymore if left to me. I would have quit last year, except for the encouragement and persistence of those who have helped with it. My life changed dramatically and demanded adjustment. There’s a time to step aside, to allow for other experience. Service is very meaningful; however, one’s ego can get carried away with it. I’ve come full circle in many ways, which I appreciate and find appropriate for my age. I have been attached, but I am now free to go on. Please know, I still care.

I am deeply affected by so many individuals and so much of what was shared with me personally and for publication. I want to thank you and these other beautiful people. Some have passed on and are greatly missed. They include artist and writer Linda Hain, who contributed her work and counseled me along with her husband Earl; poet Carol McWilliams, who volunteered her help but died before she could proceed; Stephen Burton who was a main character in his wife Deborah’s Farming Escapades and who became a dear friend and beer-brewing buddy; writer Janet Romanek, who played many roles – organizational leader, mentor, strong supporter and friend; and my uncle Bob Hays, who embodied love of family and determination. Veterans of war shared stories that sobered us all. And, mothers wrote about the death of their children, which especially moved me.

I wanted to thank Pastor Phil Airhart who served at Valley United Methodist Church in Veneta, though he’s gone on to Twin Falls, Idaho. I wasn’t a member of the church, yet Pastor Phil gave permission for me to purchase use of the church’s copier for the production of Groundwaters before we obtained our own equipment. He felt it was something Jesus would do, and I was certainly impressed by that. It helped that my good friend Karen Vosika is the church’s secretary. Karen is one who doesn’t consider herself to be a writer, but she has contributed a recipe for each issue of the magazine since its inception. (And, hosted a yard sale fundraiser to help pay for the printer that has produced Groundwaters since Fall 2006).

I was originally inspired by the writer’s group with whom I met for many years, who included Sylvia Beltran, Sally Spaulding and Reneé Dodds. Aleta Miller truly helped flesh out the seed, too. Reneé volunteered as proofreader, along with Pat Broome, Lynn Fogus, and Shirley Overed. Sylvia and Sally took on some of the distribution. So, from birth, Groundwaters has been a group effort, mostly by women.

At first I didn’t accept advertisements. I had faith that Groundwaters would be supported and donations would be the bulk of that – as they have been. I didn’t want to be dependent on businesses or add to the load they’re expected to carry. However, several business owners kept asking me to consider ads. They really wanted to put their advertising dollars into such an offering. I am so thankful for all who patiently worked with us as we muddled through this process. Eventually, we developed guidelines and rates that were beneficial for all concerned, and advertising became another service we could offer. Non-profits have supported Groundwaters, too. We enjoyed being invited by the Rural Arts Center to Movie Nights at the Lorane Grange, which have been fundraisers for many community endeavors. The Lions of Alvadore treated us royally as vendors in their Holiday Bazaar last fall. And, Friends of Fern Ridge Library are certainly our friends, also.

Groundwaters’ subscribers are especially important as the magazine goes forward because they provide a firm base. Many have given “a little extra” as they’ve been able. They’re friends and neighbors, family, former teachers and co-workers, businesspeople, folks I met for the first time through Groundwaters, and even anonymous. Donations have ranged from a dollar to hundreds of dollars, and each one meant a lot to me and to the project. In addition, people donated and bought all sorts of useful things at the Groundwaters’ benefit yard sale in 2006. All are appreciated. There are too many names to list here; however, gratitude to you who have helped is expressed on page 2 of every issue.

I want to extend thanks to the faithful, who uplifted me often with cards, letters, and conversation. Stalwarts include Sylvia Beltran, Kathy Fox, Pat Gill – who would be president of our fan club if there ever was one, Millie Graves, Earl Hain, and Sally Spaulding. You and every person who showed interest kept me going. …And, I’ve been very fortunate to have the support of my husband.

Groundwaters is a beautiful dream come true. All these people and you have had a hand in it, yet it has a life of its own beyond me or any other individual. I like to describe it as a work of spirit, which means I see it as an expression of endless love. It continues to bear fruit of fine quality. And, it all seems to be coming together very nicely at this time. I am excited to see where it will go from here, with more and different perspectives. It will be of benefit without my influence; everything that brought it here is working perfectly. However, this is not the pinnacle of our lives; we still have plenty to do. And, I’m not going away; I continue to write and be highly creative. Who knows all the places we’ll flow?

A Goodbye Letter from Judy

The Heart of the Matter
from Judy Hays-Eberts

Part 1

I apologize for not keeping in touch. I’ve been like that with nearly everyone this year. And, last year I spent a lot of time on anger. My brain was on fire, as my acupuncturist described it. I’ve been struggling with myself, with things I thought I wouldn’t experience, with how I’ve used pain throughout my life. I went from being someone you could count on to being one who rarely follows through. Because of all that, I’m even more blessed by those like you who continued to support Groundwaters. I’ve missed the contact, but I had to step back whether I liked it or not.

Lots of people are in a similar situation, with intense chronic pain. I’m dealing with a degenerative condition in my neck and spinal column. And, I’m learning a big lesson about how the mind affects everything… Some days, I’m unable to drive or write or do anything but lie in one position; yet, I have access to lots of good medical care. How do people cope who don’t? I am humbled when I consider that a great many must live with more challenging circumstances than I.

It’s been a long process for me to get to this point. I didn’t understand it but I changed with the pain I was and wasn’t feeling, and in the last couple years I was incredibly rude to those close to me. A list of my shortcomings includes procrastination, dropping the ball, going crazy, single-mindedness, making things harder than they needed to be, being accountable but half organized and falling further behind, drawn in too many directions, abandoning acquaintances, and making more mistakes. For instance, I haven’t sent an invoice to The Farm Store for their ads in a long time. The Soverns have dutifully sent payment anyway. …So what does that say about them? Subscribers and donors have continued to do the same. My heart has been incredibly touched by such long-term devotion.

What a testament to the Groundwaters team and their work that they endured such a difficult time with me and continued to create something wonderful. In fact, they repaired the foundation of the magazine and started a very nice remodel! I am so pleased with the results. It’s been a success, and I’m not the glue that holds it all together. The spirit of this project lives on through Pat Edwards, Jim Burnett, Jennifer Chambers, Pat Broome (who was involved from the first issue forward), and my husband Sonny.

In June, ownership of Groundwaters magazine was transferred from me to the new LLC formed by the group mentioned above. I was encouraged to carry on as a member of the team, but I declined; though I hope to be a contributor as the magazine goes on. I’m still involved with the Groundwaters web site, as Sonny and I have retained its maintenance and development. The site is truly Sonny’s creation; I simply contribute to that, too. Sonny manages the site and Pat Edwards manages the magazine.

What is left for me to do? Be grateful. Has it been worth it? Yes! You and many other people made it so. Though I didn’t make money, I have been richly rewarded. I never wanted Groundwaters to be pretentious. It was simply offered as a gift from and to the community, a ‘zine that would feature treasures we might not discover otherwise. I promised its first contributors that it would look “no less spiffy than a large newsletter.” In the first issue, I wrote that “Groundwaters is an exchange of experience, meant to encourage closet writers and those who don’t consider themselves as writers. It features friends and neighbors and the unknown. Groundwaters is for those who listen to others, who keep an open mind, and who keep reading.” With that, I began to reap a great harvest.

I’ll share with you some comments from longtime and new-found friends, regarding the evolution of vol. 1 no. 1:

“Your idea to publish a ‘zine is a wonderful one! You will get so much satisfaction in putting it together, getting all the pieces in place. It’ll be hard at first, but I urge you to go for it! The rewards are there for you, for all who participate. Your vision of community is purposeful. I can think of no better way of achieving that goal than through the written word. Words are such powerful tools to move change towards common good. I believe all whom you ignite with your passion, your visions, will assuredly add theirs for an accumulation of ideas, energies and material. It will be exciting to watch, to help, to see the 1st issue of “Groundwater” appear.” ~ Sylvia Beltran, 3/04

“Thank you so much for the opportunity to write – because you asked me, I did, for the first time, in what? Twenty-two years? And to be published feels very odd. I just write press releases and policy, you know?” ~ K.H., 10/04

“I picked up your fabulous first edition of Groundwaters at Lee’s Hardware Store last Tuesday. Hooray for you! You recognized a need, and took the necessary action to satisfy it. Let us hope Groundwaters prospers and endures.” ~ Earl Hain, 11/04

In four years of publication, we’ve not received even one negative comment about Groundwaters. I asked for and received submissions of art (reproduced in B&W), favorite books and recipes, features by and for children, history – local and broad, profiles of small businesses and people in the community, personal experiences, poetry and short fiction, and words of encouragement. It has also been an outlet for community info and been embraced by local businesses. Copies were initially distributed through The Greenhouse Café in Walton, Kelley’s True Value in Veneta, Max’s Tires on Hwy 126, the Noti Post Office, Our Daily Bread restaurant in Veneta, Secret House Winery’s tasting room, and Fern Ridge Library. It just kept growing. From the beginning, it surpassed my expectations. The number of distribution locations tripled by the second issue. I predicted that Groundwaters would outgrow me by its third year, which proved to be true.

(To Be Continued — The second part of Judy’s letter will appear in next week’s blog)

Transitions

This is a continuation of the story I began telling you in the last posting, about the beginnings of Groundwaters…

Some of Judy Hays-Eberts’ early readers and contributors began offering their help with the publication of Groundwaters magazine. Two of them, Pat Broome, who published a story in the very first issue, and Jennifer Chambers, who came on board shortly afterwards, began meeting with Judy and collaborating with her on upcoming issues. I began volunteering my assistance in the Fall 2006 after meeting Judy for the first time when she profiled our store in Lorane in the Summer 2006 issue. Our relationship began slowly — I contributed a few things that I had written and offered advice on layout and content. In the early part of 2007, Judy began having serious health issues, however, and I took over the layout work of the Summer 2007 issue. The pain and the need to focus on her health began taking their tolls on Judy and she began talking about shutting down publication of Groundwaters.. None of us wanted to see what had become a cherished publication to many, end. Besides doing all of the layout work, I began taking on more of the preliminary decision-making and planning with the help of Pat Broome and Jennifer. Judy guided our efforts and contributed whatever writing and advice that her health allowed. Soon, my brother, Jim Burnett, began taking an interest in Groundwaters. He’s been a reviewer for one of the state’s writers groups for several years and volunteered his services as a long-distance consultant via email. He and his wife Jonni have lived in their RV headquartered in Portland, Oregon since his retirement several years ago.

Our goal at first was to just keep the magazine going until the end of 2007. None of us felt that we could take on the huge financial burden that Judy and Sonny faced each quarter and we were unsure how we could generate enough income. Even though Judy’s faithful readers and contributors were generous with cash donations, it was an income that could not be counted on each quarter. We explored the possibility of applying for non-profit status in order to be able to apply for grant funding; but the process of forming a board of directors, holding structured meetings and doing the vast amount of paperwork that would be required was more than any of us wanted to commit to. We also felt that it would take the control for what we produced out of our hands.

Judy began turning over more and more of the responsibility to me as the pain she dealt with on a daily basis took over much of her energies. I began trying to focus our group on identifying a solution so that we could keep the magazine going beyond January 2008. Thus, we all became committed to finding some way to make it support itself. I headed up a plan to seek enough advertisers to pay for the 500 free issues that we commit to each quarter. Judy was concerned that we try to seek the advertisers from outside of the Veneta area so that we would not be in direct competition with the publishers of the West Lane News. That’s just one of the many qualities that has earned her so much respect throughout the area – it’s an example of her heart and love for community. She has never wanted to intrude on her neighbors. But, at the same time, it makes it harder to find enough businesses in the smaller, outlying communities to meet our goal.

We determined that we would need to sign on at least 15 to 20 advertisers each quarter to cover the cost of printing and paper for the magazine. Subscription rates were re-evaluated and raised to make sure that they covered the cost of postage and supplies used for mailings during this time of ever-increasing postal rates. We’ve set our goals and are working towards the day when we can meet them.

In the meantime, Judy has determined that she wants to step aside completely and allow Groundwaters to continue to grow under our guidance. Five of us, Jennifer, Pat Broome, Jim, Sonny and I have formed a Limited Liability Company (LLC) that is called Groundwaters Publishing, LLC. I am the Manager of the business and Managing Editor of the magazine, and we will soon be moving the production operation to a building that my husband and I own in Lorane, Oregon once its remodel has been completed. Groundwaters Publishing, LLC will continue to have its roots in Veneta and much of our distribution will be in the Veneta/Elmira area, but the actual work of producing it will have a new home.

It has not been an easy transition. There were occasional clashes over misunderstandings, but we all kept a close friendship throughout. All of us are working towards keeping Groundwaters alive and well and we all have a tremendous respect for each other. That’s the glue that is holding it together for us and as we go along, that’s what’s going to keep Judy’s dream alive.

My next postings will feature Judy’s good-bye letter and later, profiles of our staff and our contributors.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Poem
By Judy Hays-Eberts
08/24/07

It’s a weight to be carried every day,
heavier and heavier
constant in its persistence
wearing on everything
inescapable and old.

It’s on the inside, an invisible load
always tethered, never free;
it sits on me when I sleep.
…Oh, to rest without that chain
and wake to freedom each day!

It’s a mountain to be climbed with no summit
in often stormy weather
and no shelter to be found
outside of a rare sweet dream
like the story of Heidi…

It’s a contender who demands attention
who beats me regularly
who stomps on my weaknesses
who ridicules my efforts
who’s there at every turn.

It’s familiar to many, old as time,
the subject of all stories,
the standard antagonist,
one’s own ancient odyssey
shared by all in birth and death.

It’s a shape-shifter, extreme in appearance,
gaudy or subtle or bare,
quiet or angry and loud,
ugly or beautiful –
all in the way one sees it.

It’s not going away as soon as I like
nor will it seem gone for long –
still standing when the door’s closed
with windows barred against it –
even when I’m not looking.

It’s a challenge to negotiate with it,
to maintain one’s dignity,
to retain one’s sanity,
to face directly and smile
as it tempts hysteria.

It’s a coat of many colors and textures –
remember Joseph’s story
(no promise of quick release) –
it precedes a bright outcome
yet feels like an endless test.

It’s a drama with despair in the lead part
until one finds the lost key
to unlock that fearful chain,
to loosen the grip of it
at its root deep in the soul.

It’s my companion, and you know its name.

The Birth of Groundwaters magazine

Light, heat, and sound change direction
when they strike those looking-glass eyes,
eyelids folded back on themselves
to allow nothing inside.
You’re a mirror, not a photograph.
And I am more than the sum
of my images, lovely bits of past
made present for a planned tomorrow.
My reflection shows the state of you;
the more you polish, the less you refract,
the brighter I appear, the better
to examine every detail.
Yes, you are not a photograph,
not a time remembered, not fixed,
except when you stand still to hold me
who cannot be held in a million mirrors.
Light lives without limits.
Shining is an action verb.
You help me pretend to grasp
What I Am
and much that I am not.
I see what you’re saying;
I hear your eyes on me, still, as I gaze.
I think I feel I can change without you.
Yet I cannot leave you
and I will not forsake myself.
I’ll draw you back into me,
into the light, heat, and sound,
into our transformation
to beauty and warmth and music.
Nothing held apart,
nothing to dissect to oblivion;
just shining, just loving,
in a million billion rays
(oh, did I say ways?)
endlessly reaching out
to strike all the pieces we become,
mirrors and mirrors and mirrors!
(I would miss the sparkle).

Hello world!

Let me introduce myself… I am Pat Edwards, Managing Editor of Groundwaters magazine.

I’m going to start a blog today. My goal for the blog will be to discuss our experiences in working with amateur writers and artists through Groundwaters, a literary magazine. There are six of us who volunteer our time and services to get the magazine out each quarter in the first weeks of January, April, July and October.

For this first blog entry, I will just tell you about Groundwaters and why we are in existence. I’m not trying to sell it to anyone… in fact, between 500-800 copies Groundwaters are distributed free throughout Lane County. We do sell subscriptions to those not able to pick one up at a local distributor, but we are not trying to make a profit from it.

Our main goal is to showcase the considerable amateur, and some professional, talent that we have in Lane County, Oregon. Many of our contributors are made up of writers and artists of all ages who have always loved to write or draw, but have never really taken the time to try to get published. Their families and friends have frequently told them how well they write and they have usually been encouraged for years to write a book or enter their drawings in the Lane County Fair. Some are extremely talented. Some are not. But, all have stories to tell and emotions and experiences to share through their poetry, fiction, non-fiction, essays, biographies, profiles, local histories, photography and artwork. Some of our submissions are folksy; others are cerebral, thoughtful, entertaining, sad, funny, uplifting, depressing, cute or educational, but all come from the heart of the writer and artist. We don’t publish controversial subjects – no political or religious opinion pieces, no extreme violence or profanity. Our goal is not to sell our ideas to others… it is to share with our readers, through our pages, the collective experiences and knowledge of our writers and their respect for people they have known.

Through this blog, I want to tell you more about Groundwaters – how it got started, where it’s going and who the people are who work on it. I hope to share some of the writings and artwork that have been published on our pages. I’d like to profile some of our authors and artists and give you “ticklers” on what’s going to be included in the next issues. It’s very likely that some of our other staff members will add postings from time to time, as well.

So, please check back each week for a new posting!