Part 2

What does it feel like, to give this creative endeavor over to others, to step away while it all goes on without me? Freeing, flattering, and relieved, as well as successful and highly blessed. There’s a tiny twinge of regret that I cannot go on with it, but then there’s reality. The reality is that Groundwaters wouldn’t be happening anymore if left to me. I would have quit last year, except for the encouragement and persistence of those who have helped with it. My life changed dramatically and demanded adjustment. There’s a time to step aside, to allow for other experience. Service is very meaningful; however, one’s ego can get carried away with it. I’ve come full circle in many ways, which I appreciate and find appropriate for my age. I have been attached, but I am now free to go on. Please know, I still care.

I am deeply affected by so many individuals and so much of what was shared with me personally and for publication. I want to thank you and these other beautiful people. Some have passed on and are greatly missed. They include artist and writer Linda Hain, who contributed her work and counseled me along with her husband Earl; poet Carol McWilliams, who volunteered her help but died before she could proceed; Stephen Burton who was a main character in his wife Deborah’s Farming Escapades and who became a dear friend and beer-brewing buddy; writer Janet Romanek, who played many roles – organizational leader, mentor, strong supporter and friend; and my uncle Bob Hays, who embodied love of family and determination. Veterans of war shared stories that sobered us all. And, mothers wrote about the death of their children, which especially moved me.

I wanted to thank Pastor Phil Airhart who served at Valley United Methodist Church in Veneta, though he’s gone on to Twin Falls, Idaho. I wasn’t a member of the church, yet Pastor Phil gave permission for me to purchase use of the church’s copier for the production of Groundwaters before we obtained our own equipment. He felt it was something Jesus would do, and I was certainly impressed by that. It helped that my good friend Karen Vosika is the church’s secretary. Karen is one who doesn’t consider herself to be a writer, but she has contributed a recipe for each issue of the magazine since its inception. (And, hosted a yard sale fundraiser to help pay for the printer that has produced Groundwaters since Fall 2006).

I was originally inspired by the writer’s group with whom I met for many years, who included Sylvia Beltran, Sally Spaulding and Reneé Dodds. Aleta Miller truly helped flesh out the seed, too. Reneé volunteered as proofreader, along with Pat Broome, Lynn Fogus, and Shirley Overed. Sylvia and Sally took on some of the distribution. So, from birth, Groundwaters has been a group effort, mostly by women.

At first I didn’t accept advertisements. I had faith that Groundwaters would be supported and donations would be the bulk of that – as they have been. I didn’t want to be dependent on businesses or add to the load they’re expected to carry. However, several business owners kept asking me to consider ads. They really wanted to put their advertising dollars into such an offering. I am so thankful for all who patiently worked with us as we muddled through this process. Eventually, we developed guidelines and rates that were beneficial for all concerned, and advertising became another service we could offer. Non-profits have supported Groundwaters, too. We enjoyed being invited by the Rural Arts Center to Movie Nights at the Lorane Grange, which have been fundraisers for many community endeavors. The Lions of Alvadore treated us royally as vendors in their Holiday Bazaar last fall. And, Friends of Fern Ridge Library are certainly our friends, also.

Groundwaters’ subscribers are especially important as the magazine goes forward because they provide a firm base. Many have given “a little extra” as they’ve been able. They’re friends and neighbors, family, former teachers and co-workers, businesspeople, folks I met for the first time through Groundwaters, and even anonymous. Donations have ranged from a dollar to hundreds of dollars, and each one meant a lot to me and to the project. In addition, people donated and bought all sorts of useful things at the Groundwaters’ benefit yard sale in 2006. All are appreciated. There are too many names to list here; however, gratitude to you who have helped is expressed on page 2 of every issue.

I want to extend thanks to the faithful, who uplifted me often with cards, letters, and conversation. Stalwarts include Sylvia Beltran, Kathy Fox, Pat Gill – who would be president of our fan club if there ever was one, Millie Graves, Earl Hain, and Sally Spaulding. You and every person who showed interest kept me going. …And, I’ve been very fortunate to have the support of my husband.

Groundwaters is a beautiful dream come true. All these people and you have had a hand in it, yet it has a life of its own beyond me or any other individual. I like to describe it as a work of spirit, which means I see it as an expression of endless love. It continues to bear fruit of fine quality. And, it all seems to be coming together very nicely at this time. I am excited to see where it will go from here, with more and different perspectives. It will be of benefit without my influence; everything that brought it here is working perfectly. However, this is not the pinnacle of our lives; we still have plenty to do. And, I’m not going away; I continue to write and be highly creative. Who knows all the places we’ll flow?

Part 1

I apologize for not keeping in touch. I’ve been like that with nearly everyone this year. And, last year I spent a lot of time on anger. My brain was on fire, as my acupuncturist described it. I’ve been struggling with myself, with things I thought I wouldn’t experience, with how I’ve used pain throughout my life. I went from being someone you could count on to being one who rarely follows through. Because of all that, I’m even more blessed by those like you who continued to support Groundwaters. I’ve missed the contact, but I had to step back whether I liked it or not.

Lots of people are in a similar situation, with intense chronic pain. I’m dealing with a degenerative condition in my neck and spinal column. And, I’m learning a big lesson about how the mind affects everything… Some days, I’m unable to drive or write or do anything but lie in one position; yet, I have access to lots of good medical care. How do people cope who don’t? I am humbled when I consider that a great many must live with more challenging circumstances than I.

It’s been a long process for me to get to this point. I didn’t understand it but I changed with the pain I was and wasn’t feeling, and in the last couple years I was incredibly rude to those close to me. A list of my shortcomings includes procrastination, dropping the ball, going crazy, single-mindedness, making things harder than they needed to be, being accountable but half organized and falling further behind, drawn in too many directions, abandoning acquaintances, and making more mistakes. For instance, I haven’t sent an invoice to The Farm Store for their ads in a long time. The Soverns have dutifully sent payment anyway. …So what does that say about them? Subscribers and donors have continued to do the same. My heart has been incredibly touched by such long-term devotion.

What a testament to the Groundwaters team and their work that they endured such a difficult time with me and continued to create something wonderful. In fact, they repaired the foundation of the magazine and started a very nice remodel! I am so pleased with the results. It’s been a success, and I’m not the glue that holds it all together. The spirit of this project lives on through Pat Edwards, Jim Burnett, Jennifer Chambers, Pat Broome (who was involved from the first issue forward), and my husband Sonny.

In June, ownership of Groundwaters magazine was transferred from me to the new LLC formed by the group mentioned above. I was encouraged to carry on as a member of the team, but I declined; though I hope to be a contributor as the magazine goes on. I’m still involved with the Groundwaters web site, as Sonny and I have retained its maintenance and development. The site is truly Sonny’s creation; I simply contribute to that, too. Sonny manages the site and Pat Edwards manages the magazine.

What is left for me to do? Be grateful. Has it been worth it? Yes! You and many other people made it so. Though I didn’t make money, I have been richly rewarded. I never wanted Groundwaters to be pretentious. It was simply offered as a gift from and to the community, a ‘zine that would feature treasures we might not discover otherwise. I promised its first contributors that it would look “no less spiffy than a large newsletter.” In the first issue, I wrote that “Groundwaters is an exchange of experience, meant to encourage closet writers and those who don’t consider themselves as writers. It features friends and neighbors and the unknown. Groundwaters is for those who listen to others, who keep an open mind, and who keep reading.” With that, I began to reap a great harvest.

I’ll share with you some comments from longtime and new-found friends, regarding the evolution of vol. 1 no. 1:

“Your idea to publish a ‘zine is a wonderful one! You will get so much satisfaction in putting it together, getting all the pieces in place. It’ll be hard at first, but I urge you to go for it! The rewards are there for you, for all who participate. Your vision of community is purposeful. I can think of no better way of achieving that goal than through the written word. Words are such powerful tools to move change towards common good. I believe all whom you ignite with your passion, your visions, will assuredly add theirs for an accumulation of ideas, energies and material. It will be exciting to watch, to help, to see the 1st issue of “Groundwater” appear.” ~ Sylvia Beltran, 3/04

“Thank you so much for the opportunity to write – because you asked me, I did, for the first time, in what? Twenty-two years? And to be published feels very odd. I just write press releases and policy, you know?” ~ K.H., 10/04

“I picked up your fabulous first edition of Groundwaters at Lee’s Hardware Store last Tuesday. Hooray for you! You recognized a need, and took the necessary action to satisfy it. Let us hope Groundwaters prospers and endures.” ~ Earl Hain, 11/04

In four years of publication, we’ve not received even one negative comment about Groundwaters. I asked for and received submissions of art (reproduced in B&W), favorite books and recipes, features by and for children, history – local and broad, profiles of small businesses and people in the community, personal experiences, poetry and short fiction, and words of encouragement. It has also been an outlet for community info and been embraced by local businesses. Copies were initially distributed through The Greenhouse Café in Walton, Kelley’s True Value in Veneta, Max’s Tires on Hwy 126, the Noti Post Office, Our Daily Bread restaurant in Veneta, Secret House Winery’s tasting room, and Fern Ridge Library. It just kept growing. From the beginning, it surpassed my expectations. The number of distribution locations tripled by the second issue. I predicted that Groundwaters would outgrow me by its third year, which proved to be true.

(To Be Continued — The second part of Judy’s letter will appear in next week’s blog)